Epiphanies on Grief

This post was supposed to go up the morning of January 6th. 

I was working on it on the afternoon of the 5th when I read a text from my friend Justin, whom I’ve known for over 30 years. Justin started dating one of my best friends, Audrey, in high school. They started dating our sophomore year and have been a collective fixture since. 

“Audrey is dead” was all the text said. 

I read it and put down the phone, turning it over as if I could somehow erase what I’d just read. As if I could somehow erase not only the minutes since reading that one of my longest friends had died, but as if I could go further back and change the preceding 24 hours and somehow put her soul back in her body. Or change the years before that which led to her relatively early departure from this planet. 

Besides, I also had an email to write. Usually I can be flexible with timelines, but Epiphany comes on January 6. It’s kind of a one day shot. 

I tried to write. 

Nothing came. 

I’m at a point in my healing journey where I can now see my responses to stimuli much more clearly than I could in the past. I laughed at myself a bit as I moved between trying to find words for my email and picking up my phone to re-read those three words which I knew weren’t going away.

Audrey is dead. 

My friend is dead and she will not be coming back in the body she just left.

I know she will visit and will make her presence known in ways only her souls would; and, yet, loss of the body-ness of her specific form is gone, and it needs to be grieved. 

I closed my computer and decided I could get to the email in the morning. I had a noon lunch meeting that offered a hard deadline. “Great,” I thought, “I always work best with the pressure of a deadline.”

Only then, as I opened my computer to write the next morning, there were still no words. I cut and pasted some stuff about Epiphany from other notes I’d written, about how it’s both a celebration of the Magi’s arrival after the birth of Jesus and, in the Eastern Church, a celebration of the baptism of Jesus and the start of his ministry. But, no words came. 

This is a thing I’ve had happen over the last few years. I’ll try to do something I’ve always done, often done under pressure or expectation, only to find I cannot do it. It’s like I literally cannot move from the space of urgency that used to fuel my days. 

I sent Charles a few texts hinting at my feeling of overwhelm and the necessity of meeting the deadline. 

Charles: “You should take time to rest. Honor your body and y’all’s friendship”

Me: “We can’t afford that lol” I somewhat sarcastically replied.

Charles: “I think you should take 45 minutes today and go sit in the sauna.”

I resisted until it became clear that I wasn’t going to get anywhere with the email until I came back into my body. 

I made an appointment at a local Sauna and sat in the heat for 45 minutes. I let my breath soften. I thought about Audrey, and the joys and many tragedies of her life, and the gift of knowing her.

I let myself sit in the grief of losing her. 

Sitting in the heat of the sauna, it dawned on me. . .

Epiphany: part of healing involves making more room for grief, and grief cannot be rushed. 

Over the last few years as I’ve been focused on my healing journey, my relationship with time has been one of the biggest adjustments I’ve had to make. I realize how often a sense of urgency served as my motivator in the past: a nagging I couldn’t quite identify always keeping me go go going. I spent so much time trying to get to the next thing or replaying past things that I never sat with the one thing I could truly experience: the present moment. 

Grief has a way of drawing us into the present moment unlike anything else. Grief can be messy and raw, hitting a live wire within ourselves that demands our attention. However painful it may be, grief has a way of releasing energy that needs to be cleared. 

Grief is a way of remembering and honoring the love that connects us with the things we have lost. In our willingness to grieve, we are releasing the energy that binds us to the material and trusting it to the eternal. We are letting that relationship take on a new form as we honor the death of the old.

Every significant period of grief I have moved through has changed me; I always emerge as a fuller version of who I came here to be. Grief requires unabashed honesty and a willingness to look foolish for the sake of love transformed. My father died in 2011, and I’ve often said my relationship with him got so much easier without the weight of human existence. I know not only that he is with me, but that he loves and unconditionally supports me in ways he was not able to do from this side of the grave.

Another epiphany: the Epiphany we celebrate on January 6th didn’t happen on one specific day.

The day itself means different things even within the Christian tradition. It’s not about one specific day, but about what Jesus showed us in and through his life that we can access in our lives. 

Jesus did not take on flesh and come into this world so that I would freak out about a deadline. Jesus took on flesh so that I would know the kind of abundance we embody when we are fully present to all that is - including but certainly not limited to my own grief. 

As I write this, I have yet to experience the well of tears still waiting to spring from my eyes. I am still sitting with a layer of denial  which I know will be washed away by sobbing.

I don’t want Audrey to be dead and I’m ok holding onto this feeling for a bit longer.

I know this denial will yield, and the tears will come.

The invitation for me is to slow down enough to let the grief wash over me, to remain present with whatever emerges and to honor that as the love that will always connect me with those who’ve passed on. 

Another epiphany: God is present in our grief in a wholly unique way. 

Grief is a necessary part of healing. It is no surprise that we have so little room for grief in today’s society. You cannot think your way through grief; it has to be embodied.  Embodiment is a threat to systems that thrive when you are always looking outside yourself for the answer.
So much of our dis-ease in today’s world is because we’ve been taught to look for our reason and motivation for being outside of ourselves. Most of us are taught a false version of history to keep us in a state of anxiety about the future, without much time or attention given to the present that is the only true reality. 

God is All that Is. When we allow ourselves the experience of grief, we allow more of All that Is. When we invite God into the mess, we find that God is already here; has been here, and has indeed been here all along. When we bear witness to one another’s grief, we both offer and receive a sacred gift.

I’ve had so many conversations with people who’ve lost loved ones recently. I’ve heard the sentiment echoed more than once that it feels like people are dying at a more rapid pace than usual. I don’t actually know about death rates, but I do know we are collectively sitting on centuries of unprocessed grief. The lies and half-truths we’ve told ourselves for centuries are catching up to us. You can see it coming out sideways in the ways people treat one another, in the way we treat ourselves. 

Our capacity to be present with grief is directly connected to our capacity for joy. We need spaces to express our grief so we can open ourselves to the new possibilities being born in and through us. As we as a society claim space for grief, we will see how much time and energy we’ve spent avoiding being present to what is; and, in that process, we will find room for transformation.

Seeing the Light that is Already there

On winter solstice, December 21, Every Table created a camera obscura at Challenge Discovery Projects. Creating the space for the camera obscura is one of my favorite processes. The idea is simple: you gather some black plastic and duct tape or electrical tape, and use these tools to black out every light source in the room.

You cover windows, door frames, tiny cracks. You think you have it all sealed up, and then during the first test, you realize the room is still full of little bits of light. A hairline gap at the bottom of the door. A tiny opening in the corner of the window. The red glow of an exit sign. You start to see that light finds a way through almost anything.

Camera obscuras remind me that perfection does not exist. The process of putting it together, adjusting, trying again, is where the real magic is. As Jess said during our solstice gathering, as your eyes adjust, you notice that the light has not changed. We are just noticing the light that is already there.

That always feels like a lesson for life: Sometimes all we need is a shift in perspective to see what has been present the whole time.

In a camera obscura, a small pinhole guides light into the room and projects an image on the wall. It takes what is outside and lets us see it in a new way. Just like that pinhole guides light and helps our eyes adjust to what is in the room, the guidance of our thoughts allows for clarity of mind. When we direct our attention with care, we can see more clearly. When we let the mind soften, we can feel what is actually here.

Jess offered an intro to some of the guests explaining the camera obscura. The tables are set up to serve as screens, helping focus the image from outside

For me, Yoga Nidra is like a camera obscura for the nervous system.

Yoga Nidra is a yogic technique for deep relaxation, bring us from a state in between awake and sleeping where our bodies are a deeply relax and our minds are aware.

Just like a camera obscura guides light, Yoga Nidra guides the mind into a state of deep rest and relaxed awareness. Capitalism keeps our minds going and going, chasing a feeling of accomplishment, urging us to constantly produce, and rarely allowing us to just be in the moment. Yoga Nidra invites us to practice something different. It gives us permission to lie down, listen in, and remember that worthiness is not tied to productivity.

As we move into a new year, I want us to have space for both rest and vision. Space to notice the light that is already present and space to imagine what we want to grow next.

On January 4, we are hosting a Yoga Nidra and Vision Board House Party. We will give ourselves time to rest first – to let the mind settle and the body feel held. After that, we will move into vision board creation, not from a place of frantic goal setting, but from a quieter place of knowing where we want to be in the future.

You can expect:

• A guided Yoga Nidra practice to support nervous system rest

• Time to reflect on what you are releasing from the past year

• Space to name what you are calling in for the year ahead

• Vision board making with community, music, and snacks

You are welcome to bring magazines, images, words, or symbols that feel important to you, along with a journal if you like to write. We will have basic supplies on hand too.

If the solstice camera obscura taught me anything again this year, it is that the light is already here. We just need spaces to see it, honor it, and shape it with intention.

Sitting in the Dark

“What a time to be alive!”

This refrain has become a common one for me lately. It is often met with some form of a sideways glance. I get it. Things are chaotic. Systems are crumbling. People are confused, scared, angry, divided, overwhelmed, under-resourced. Genocides continue in Gaza and Sudan. 

How, they wonder, could I say something so seemingly flippant?

As someone who cares deeply about. . . well, most things, I assure folks in these conversations that my words are anything but flippant - or naive. 

The truth is, there are days when the weight of the world feels like it will squash me like a grape. There is just SO MUCH HAPPENING; the energy is so intense. I have said many times that we are on the verge of an awakening unparalleled in our collective history, and that the intensity of this moment is both the death rattle of an old way of being and the birth pangs of a new one coming to form. But, still. . . oof. Some days are tough. 

I’ve found that in those moments when I become overwhelmed, the best idea is to be still and wait, to go to a meditative space and resist the temptation to grasp at ideas like straws. When I am still, I remember that this journey is less about figuring it all out and more about discovering all that is here to be seen and experienced. Meditation reminds me of my connection to something beyond time and space and gently lets my body know that I can rest in the abundance of All that IS. Even if the outer world doesn’t shift, my perspective does; and, that shift can make all the difference in the world. 

Stillness enables me to tap into the source that cannot be shaken by external force, showing me of the truth of who I am and the power and grace that come with being human.

It can feel incredibly counterintuitive to be still in the face of such madness in the world; but only when we find that stillness can our next moves be taken from a place of steadiness rather than anxiety. When I find that stillness, I can see this moment in a new light. The systems that are crumbling need to crumble so that something new can take form. And it is taking form. Steadily and consistently, people are coming together and finding the strength they have in community, and the goodness that is called forth when we lean into honest, vulnerable spaces together and the care for one another from that space. 

The benefits I experience through meditation on an individual level expand exponentially when experienced among a group. When we tap into the thing beyond time and space together, we feel into the divine abundance that is always here. A new way of being emerges as we draw from the endless wellspring that binds us. The impossible begins to seem less so. Hope emerges and is given legs. And wings. 

On this Winter Solstice, Sunday December 21st, we are inviting the community to join us in a space of stillness in the dark. In the Northern Hemisphere, the Winter Solstice marks the start of winter; it is the longest night and shortest day of the year. It is a time of both rest and renewal, when we allow ourselves to be held in the womb of darkness as the light emerges.

To mark this pivotal moment in the year, we are creating a camera obscura for the community. I first learned about camera obscuras when I was in my first semester of photography, learning about the principles of light and how cameras work. Literally meaning “dark chamber,” a camera obscura is a natural phenomenon where a single hole pierced in a space of otherwise total darkness projects an image of the scene outside that space onto the surface opposite the hole. The result is an upside down, reversed projection of the view outside on the walls of the space inside. 

As we sit in the darkness, we will celebrate the gifts offered by the darkness. Eventually, what’s outside will be projected inside and all around us.

Every time I do this, I am struck in that moment of recognition that the amount of light in the room never changed; only my perception of it has changed.

May it be so.

An Update from Jess

It has been a minute! To be more accurate, we’ ve gone pretty radio silent for about six months…

There are times when you need to go inward for clarity, and we’ve been moving through such a period. We’ve spent the last few months in a space of deep discernment and expansive conversations about our mission and values and how we are being invited to show up in the world. We are grateful for the community that supports us, and for your patience and encouragement as we’ve moved through this chrysalis period. We are excited for what is emerging and eager to invite you on this path of ongoing healing and transformation.

Our beautiful Easter Extravaganza reiterated that Every Table is offering something necessary for this moment. In the midst of increasing violence towards the communities we are called to serve, people need opportunities to connect with one another in fellowship that nourishes both body and spirit. Much of our time the last six months has also been spent with people navigating a shifting landscape, offering opportunities that serve as buoys during this turbulent season, and continually evaluating the ways we are showing up to help meet the needs of our expanding community.

I’ve said often lately that all of my eggs are in the magic basket. Every part of me is committed to the knowing that as old forms fall away, something new and profound is being born. This moment is inviting us to see how powerful we are when we create spaces that enable us to be the fullest versions of ourselves. From this perspective, we recognize that each and every one of us is necessary to the whole - not as we were told to be, but as we know ourselves to be. We are learning to find authenticity within ourselves and to dance together, not only with one another, but with Creation herself. As we do so, we are finding both our rhythm and each finding our space within the whole.

As we co-create spaces together, we are experiencing the abundance made manifest when we live from a space of solidarity and love. It’s been exciting to see new organizations pop up around Richmond, each doing their part contributing to a new world we are building together as the structures around us fall. Every Table offers spaces to incorporate spiritual connection into this emerging reality. When we gather in the simplicity of a meal, grounded in rituals connecting us to the indestructible cord binding us all, something new takes form.

Many of our discussions over the last six months have been about sustainability to not only continue this work, but also to expand it. From our conversations emerged The Clearing Space: a yoga studio that will also serve as a spiritual hub for the community. We’ve been talking for almost two years about needing a space that functions as both a yoga studio and a hub for Every Table as part of the community. We’d originally envisioned this as a part of Every Table, but as we’ve discussed it, forming The Clearing Space as its own organization makes sense for a number of reasons, including expanding both our funding opportunities and the ways we can show up in community. We will send out another email in the coming weeks with more information about The Clearing Space, including the unique offerings we are making available for individuals and the community in this moment of transformation.

Every Table and The Clearing Space will function as ideological siblings, working together towards the same vision of communal healing and wholeness. Charles and I have spent a lot of time discussing our respective roles at each organization and it’s been clear from the start of this conversation that The Clearing Space is Charles’s brainchild. They’ve been hard at work developing the Business Plan and sequencing methodology that will be the backbone of the practice at The Clearing Space. I will be taking on the visionary leadership of Every Table, in collaboration with Charles, our Board, and invested community members.

We are in a moment of radical transformation that I believe is leading to a collective awakening unparalleled in our recorded history. And still. . . we’ve gotta get through this moment. In moments of overwhelm lately, I’ve been buffered by the reminder that wherever we are going, we are headed there together. Healing work is communal, interconnected and exponential. Time and again I have found that my healing comes hand-in-hand with my willingness to lean into community. Through the dance of reciprocity and mutual vulnerability, we are learning what it feels like to come home to our truest selves and to see that awakening in one another. We need each other, now more than ever, and I am excited to see the ways we gather will lead to our collective transformation in the coming weeks, months, and years.

Some thoughts on Inauguration Day

When I woke up on the morning of November 6 last year, I was sharply reminded of the day eight years ago when I rolled over in bed, opened the news on my phone, and read that Donald Trump had been elected President. In 2016, I was hit with a shock of fear, paralyzed with questions of what a Trump presidency would look like for my family, for the youth I worked with at the time, and for myself. It took me a few days to find my resolve and clarity and to re-center with those around me. We moved forward together, creating a web of support for young people and the broader community by showing up again and again. I learned a great deal during those four years: about how to be present with others and with myself, how to claim my voice in the face of dehumanizing rhetoric, and how to find tenderness in the midst of it all.

My experience in November, 2024 was different. I wasn’t surprised when I saw the election results. After an initial moment of finding my breath, I found clarity and resolve I hadn’t yet cultivated eight years before. I feel prepared and am more certain now than ever of the importance of what we are doing at Every Table. The work we have done over the last three years has transformed the way I understand myself and my calling here. While not reducing the potential impact of this administration on myself and so many people I love, I know I was made for this moment. I look forward to the next few years as a time of deep transformation and healing of our communities and the world. 

I have been saying for years that we are going through a time of transformation unparalleled in our recorded history, and I will continue to say it. The systems we have known and relied upon are crumbling before us, to give way for something new and profound to be born. The next few years will be chaotic, but they will also open our eyes to new ways of understanding and living in relationship with one another. We need one another more than ever right now. As we learn to lean into our vulnerabilities and into community, we will see the abundance that is already here and will carry us into the future.

We have before us an invitation to claim a fuller life: a way of being beyond the oppressive systems which are killing us all and destroying the planet. We are being called, collectively, to step into that future where every child born has what they need to live into who they came here to be. The only way answer that calling is is together.

In November, after completing a lovely tenure as Interim Pastor of Westminster Presbyterian Church in Richmond, I made the decision to focus solely on Every Table. It is a big leap for Charles and I to make this decision for both of us to be on staff full-time, but it is clear that the world needs what we are doing. 

My energy as I focus fully on Every Table will be spread across a range of things. In addition to supporting our ongoing programs, I’ll be assisting in the completion of A Moment, our Mobile meditation hub. I’ll also be focusing on fundraising, searching for a space, and collaborating with Charles in building out our Mindfulness for Caregivers program. I’m excited for where we will go and all we will do, not only in this city, but in our greater communities all around the region and the nation.

I’ve also begun writing a book.It is a spiritual memoir that focuses on what I have learned about the world, myself, and the divine since I began having a series of mystical experiences in 2021. If you’d asked me in the early stages of my coming out if I’d known about my sexuality or gender identity from a young age, I would have said I had no idea. Yet, as I’ve begun working on this project, it’s become abundantly clear that I’ve known who I am all along, and that my gender has been key to connecting with my God, with my higher self, and my purpose here.

Trans stories need to be told, now more than ever. This book is an unapologetic celebration of the gifts that come from being trans and of the abundance of gifts trans people offer the world right now.

As a way of getting my story out there,I’ve started a Substack (for folks who may not know, Substack is a platform that allows writers and other text-heavy content creators to share things with a subscribed audience. Some of the content is free; some is behind a paywall). I’ll be sharing a variety of content, including sections of the book as they are written. Proceeds from paid content will go to support Every Table.

End of Year Update

As we near the end of 2024, we find ourselves at yet another precipice of transformation. From an individual to a global scale, we are moving through a time of collective change unparalleled in history. There is uncertainty as we watch the systems that have defined how we live our lives for hundreds, if not thousands, of years crumble. We are experiencing a rupture in our collective life, and it is painful. Yet it is a necessary rupture. There are moments of fear, for sure, but we can see that our need for collective healing is so dire that we meet this moment with an open heart and clarity of mind. 

Sometimes the rupture has to happen in order for us to dig deep enough into who we are collectively so we may learn to trust the sacred bond that ties us not only with one another, but with all of creation. We at Every Table see this moment as an invitation to listen to the holy within us–a spirit which is always present, encouraging us with a steady and gentle hand to be the versions of ourselves we truly came here to be. We are all part of the sacred belovedness of all that is. We all came here to embody one part of the collective incarnation of this abundant creation. This moment is inviting us to see our interconnectedness, and to take our healing seriously enough that we listen to that still, small voice beckoning from within, telling us we are not alone. Telling us we are holy.

Wherever you may be when you are reading this, we invite you to take a moment and look around. Give yourself the opportunity to just be. Be with the birds. Be with a friend or a pet or a lover. Be with your favorite tree. If you don’t have a favorite tree, find one. Be with yourself and the simplicity of your own hands. Remember that you are an infinite spirit having an incarnational experience–the very flesh of the divine, incarnate here on Earth. It may not seem like the most intuitive thing to sit with creation as a response to fascism. Yet, the only way to truly defeat a dehumanizing system is to claim our humanity so much that nothing can outshine it. Because when we are most in touch with the things which make us human, we are most in touch with that which connects us to the divine. 

This has been a clarifying few months for us, and for Every Table. The chaos of this moment has shown us more than ever the need for the kind of healing we are offering the world. We have already seen the kind of powerful transformation that comes when we choose to sit down together and find stillness in the midst of the chaos and to create systems of accountability that encourage healing and wholeness for us all. 

2024 has been a full year for us. Some highlights from the last year include:

The Bus!

In May we were awarded the Winn Foundation grant from Second Presbyterian Church, Richmond to create A Moment, our mobile meditation hub.

• A new gathering space. In March, we left the chapel at Ginter Park Presbyterian and began meeting at Challenge Discovery Projects, a community center offering school-based and community programs focused on preventing and addressing issues related to behavioral health, bullying, substance use, and trauma. 

• New Program: Mindfulness for the Movement. Our meditations, offered both online and in person, are designed to offer grounding for those in need of a spiritual home. 

• Sound healing. In October, we hosted Shanna Latia, a local sound healer, for a 45-minute sound bath, where she used her singing bowls to take us to a transcendent space together in community.

• Supported community events. Notably, we were on a panel with Here4theKids on “Abolition, Liberation, and Solidarity” and Joined Marijuana Justice and Equality Virginia for their Partner Lobby Day.

Through our own paths of discernment, it is clear that Every Table needs our full energy and needs both of us on staff full-time. We have created an ambitious plan for 2025 that involves creating a spiritual hub for the community and taking healing out to a world desperately in need. 

A few of our goals for 2025 include:

• Supporting and expanding our staff. Our vision is both expansive and feasible. In order to bring that vision into life we will need increased and consistent administrative support. Fully supporting our two full time staff and adding a third person to the staff would enable us to be out in the community in the ways we need to be while also ensuring the ongoing internal support for the organization. 

• Completing the renovation of our recently-purchased minibus to create A Moment, our  mobile meditation hub. We’ve been working with Jason at The Kilted Craftsman, who’s taking the lead on the remodel. This dream was first envisioned a little over a year ago, and it’s exciting to watch it take form. A Moment is basically a chapel on wheels: a sacred space, set aside to offer people an opportunity to connect back with themselves and the world around them.

• Finding a space for our healing hub, The Clearing. The community needs a spiritual home where people are safe to gather and heal without the weight of religious dogma or expectations. The Clearing will enable us to offer and expand our regular programs. Additionally, it will serve as a yoga studio, communal workspace, and offer various other trauma-informed, facilitated opportunities for healing and embodied reconciliation. The Clearing will be a space for spiritual nourishment and rest, offering daily meditation and other resources to navigate the complicated landscape of the world.

• Mindfulness Programming for caregivers. In our years of work with healers and teachers, we have found that it is often those who offer the most who get the least support. With this in mind, we are building out programming that offers skills for cultivating mindfulness among those in helping professions, beginning with Mindfulness for Pastors and Pastoral Caregivers in the Spring of 2025. This program, offered both in person and virtually, will offer leaders the resources they need to cultivate their own wellness as they support others who are doing the same. 

One thing that is abundantly clear is that we cannot do this without your support. We are building out an ambitious fundraising plan for 2025 and need your help to make it happen. We know through our years of work organizing within the community that transformation cannot happen in isolation, and your support makes it possible for us to do the healing work we are being called to do.

An Update from Charles

I often have flashbacks of my time in discipleship school. One of our teachers, Kim Clark, used to say to me, "Charles, I see you as this giant that has to shrink down to fit in the space." For years, I have been learning how to stand up for myself, my values, and the community around me. Recently, I met with a friend who reminded me of all the ways I stood up for people in my community this year—asking for fair wages, explaining how "professionalism" is a tool of white supremacy, telling well-known wellness professionals to mind their tone with practitioners, and even telling CEOs of wellness companies that polo shirts are not the way to go. This year I learned how to stand up for myself and the community around me.

When you learn how to stand, people are not going to like it... stand up anyway. After years of working with a local healing space, this fall I made the decision to leave that studio. Through my experiences, I have seen the ways Black people can uphold white supremacy, even if it’s packaged differently. I have witnessed appalling behaviors, particularly in the ways staff were treated and a lack of true accountability, and I realized I needed to move to a different space in order to embody and invite the kind of healing I am here to create in the world. 

My experiences have clarified even more the community I want to build with Every Table: one that is rooted in equity and accountability, and is actively healing from the ties white supremacy has on all of us. As we step into the new year, I can see a wellness work space that will be a hub for grassroots organizations and individuals working toward liberation. The Clearing will be both a yoga studio and a coworking space, where people can gather, practice, network, and build relationships with others focused on healing. Our vision for The Clearing supports practitioners by giving them ownership of their own content and allowing them to take home the profits from their classes, rather than everything going to uphold the space. 

Looking ahead to 2025, I'll be teaching exclusively with Every Table, at Humble Heaven, and online at radicalyogi.com. All proceeds from the online yoga classes will go toward Every Table, specifically to support opening The Clearing. I am excited to put my full energy toward cultivating a wellness and yoga workspace that focuses on healing from the ways white supremacy and capitalism divide us, offering affinity groups and other programming where people can work through their indoctrination to whiteness. 

To join us, come to one of the online offerings at radicalyogi.com.

• Monday Morning Movement - 7:00 AM ET

A 45-minute session of gentle movements, breathwork, and meditation to energize your week

• Tuesday Morning Power - 7:00 AM ET

An invigorating 45-minute power vinyasa class to start your day with energy

• Tuesday Night Yoga Nidra - 9:00 PM ET

A journey into deep relaxation, promoting stress reduction and improved sleep

• Wednesday Night Reset Yoga - 6:00 PM ET

A 45-minute gentle yoga session to help you unwind and reset your week 

Thank you for your continued support of me and Every Table as we continue to build this community. We are excited for all that 2025 will hold, and look forward to the journey with you.

A Prayer for When Someone Comes out

A Prayer for After Someone Comes Out

Creator and Source of All that IS,

We thank you for the ways in which you claim us as your own. We thank you for this community, for your Spirit woven through each of us individually and drawing us together as a whole.

Abundant Creator, we thank you that before N was born, you knew what you had in store for them. You knew as you knit them in their parent’s womb, all of the challenges and celebrations that would come in their life. You knew there would be a time when they would answer the call to share this part of their identity with this community. We thank you for N’s desire and willingness to invite us along this exciting part of their journey, and we celebrate with them today.

We ask that you would help N see the mighty shoulders on which they stand, of all those who’ve come before and paved the way and opened doors to this moment. 

Like Lazarus being called out of the tomb, or Mary Magdalene whose eyes were opened to the resurrected Christ upon hearing her name, we know you have called N’s name and claimed them as your own.

When things get difficult, remind N of this community who loves them and has promised to walk through life with them. May the people who surround N today be a source of nourishment for them alone this journey - a reminder that they are not alone on their path. 

In a world where most people go their whole lives without asking questions about their gender or sexuality, remind N of the strength and beauty they’ve shown in claiming their beloved identity as their own. 

Open the eyes and the hearts of family or friends who may not have as much joy in N coming out as we have here today. 

Keep us ever aware that family is not just defined by blood, and community is not bound by space or time. 

Remind N always that they are seen by this community. Continue opening our eyes and our hearts to one another. 

Keep us grounded in our awareness of the holiness within everything, and of the infinite love which envelopes us all. 

Making it Through the Apocalypse

The Greek origins for the word apocalypse mean to uncover or reveal: to lay bare. While we look around and see so much destruction in the world today, it is helpful to remember that these times of destruction are also revealing something. Not only are they showing the underbelly of the systems which have dictated our lives for so long, they are also revealing something new about how we understand God, ourselves, and one another. 

As we have witnessed genocide livestreamed through our phones since October, the reality of war has been revealed in a new way. No longer can we deny the violence of colonialism. 

As we watch our elected officials justify and explain away war crime after war crime, the thread of lies that we’ve been fed for centuries is uncovered. No longer can we deny the inhumanity of white supremacy. 

As we see those calling for an end to violence met with increasing violence, the brutality it takes to uphold capitalism is laid bare. No longer can we deny the barbarity of our financial systems. 

We are at a time in our collective history where we have the opportunity to create the world so many of us feel being born. Healing is a process of coming home so fully into one’s own experience that they realize we are all part of One cosmic, eternal experience. By bearing witness to the brutality of the world while refusing to lose sight of the connections bringing us all together, we have the capacity to see the abundance that already exists in both the now and the not-yet. 

Bearing witness is not enough, though. Our witness is the springboard of our action, giving us the energy we need to embody the transformation within ourselves that will translate to transformation beyond. We must find ways to integrate healing, using our bodies as the vessels for transformational action in the world. As such, we’ve begun to create programs utilizing yoga to heal from religious trauma, meditation practices for activists and those in the movement. We believe in our capacity to heal, and that our healing connects with the healing of the world. 

When we started Every Table in 2021, we knew the focus needed to be on healing from the ways so many death-dealing systems were destroying us. As we’ve gathered over the last couple of years, we’ve seen two notable things happen: the world has continued to fall into destruction; and we’ve found a steadiness within ourselves we’d previously not known. In short, the healing is working. We are learning that the goal is not to calm the chaos of the world, but to find the stillness within and among, so we find the strength and resilience to not only survive, but thrive in this time of such profound transformation.

As we watch our courts and governments fail us, as we see the rise in fascism both at home and abroad, we refuse to give in to the nihilism permeating so much of the world. Instead, we stand with those calling for and working to create systems of nourishment and repair, of interconnectivity and imagination. We are casting our lots with those who believe in a better way of being, and who are embodying that way together in community.

Summer 2024 Updates

In our Spring Newsletter, we said we were looking for a new location to gather and support to bring to life our vision for a mobile mediation hub we’ve affectionately named A Moment. We are delighted to share that we’ve made significant progress on both! 

In April, we began meeting at a new location. We are now gathering in the building of a local community-based organization who’s graciously welcomed us as we continue searching for a space of our own. We’re grateful for the partnership with Challenge Discovery Projects and for the warm welcome they’ve extended to us. 

In addition to our Sunday evening gatherings, we are now meeting on Thursday nights for rest and mediation. This gathering is specifically focused on solidarity with the Palestinian people and all those suffering in the genocides happening around the world as a result of colonialism and capitalist imperialism. These intimate gatherings offer a spiritual grounding to those who are speaking and marching and protesting for an end to the ways of war that have saturated every aspect of this planet. 

In June we received word that we’ve been awarded a grant from the Winn Mission fund at Second Presbyterian Church in Richmond to make A Moment. Once we secure a minibus, we will begin renovating the soon-to-be traveling sanctuary. In the midst of so much ongoing chaos, A Moment meets people where they are: whether at a festival or street fair, or just out and about in the city, folks will be able to sign up for a time and location to step out of their day and find the steadiness already within them. The time could be used to sit with noise-canceling headphones, mediate, pray, or to simply share space and a cup of tea with someone, feeling a little less alone in this increasingly isolating world.

Have a minibus? Know of someone who does? Help us out!! We would like to dedicate as much of the grant funds as possible to renovation, so we are asking our networks and friends to let us know of any connections that could help us secure a mini-bus. 

We continue to seek a more permanent space of our own. We’ve got dreams and visions of a location with communal work spaces, where yoga and meditation are offered daily, where we can share meals and invite people into a space where they are seen and affirmed in the fullness of who they were born to be. 

At our core, we continue to be grateful for all of the ways this community is forming. We are grateful for the support and the love of all those who are holding us and holding space for us, and we are ever so grateful for your continued presence with us along this journey toward healing and wholeness.

We often envision a time in the near future when Richmond, Virginia will be seen as the most peaceful city in the world. Go to our donate page to support us financially in this vision, and in leaning into collaboration wherever in the world you may be, until it is no longer a dream but the reality we create together.

Aparigraha and Ahimsa: Be Uncomfortable

I often hear that people feel uncomfortable discussing the ongoing genocides in the world, claiming they lack sufficient understanding. If this is you, I want to assure you that your discomfort is a sign of remaining humanity, untainted by capitalism.

Aparigraha, or non-attachment, and Ahimsa, or non-violence, are two powerful principles that can guide us towards a more compassionate and mindful way of living. However, truly applying these principles often means stepping outside of our comfort zones.

As an American who enjoys privileges such as accessibility and comfort, I recognize that our comfort can sometimes be tied to the suffering of others. This becomes especially apparent when considering global issues like the ongoing genocide in places like Gaza, Congo, and Haiti.

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Discussing Gaza can be uncomfortable because it implicates us in some way—we understand that billions of our taxpayer dollars are funding a genocide and continuing the occupation of Palestine. This discomfort is necessary and important, serving as a wake-up call and a reminder of realities we often ignore or aren't aware of due to our privileged positions.

Additionally, as I type this on a device powered by resources extracted through the enslavement and genocide of the Congolese people, I'm forced to ask: Is technology moving us forward if we have to revert back to inhumane practices? Capitalism seems to be a cycle of exploitation and suffering.

Looking at Haiti, the imposition of Western and European influence is clear. The people of Haiti deserve the right to create their own system of government, free from outside manipulation and control.

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So what can we do? We can practice being uncomfortable. We can engage with content that makes us squirm, read the experiences of marginalized people, and sit in that discomfort. Understand that being attached to comfort can blind us to the suffering of others.

We can also practice tipping because any type of labor involves some level of suffering, and having someone serve us can be a form of violence. If you need to get a new Phone buy it second hand. 

Most importantly, we can use our voices. Call your representatives and express your discomfort with your tax dollars being spent on violence. Be uncomfortable because children are dying. That should make us uncomfortable.

Recognize your comfort in avoiding these difficult topics and challenge it. Practice non-attachment. Practice non-violence. Because only when we step out of our comfort zones can we truly begin to make a difference.

Here We Are

Like so many other LGBTQIA+ children of God, we have experienced the dissonance that happens from being part of a church that is unable to recognize the fullness of our humanity. 

We have experienced the pain of being told the church has no room for our full selves. 

We have also experienced the transforming power of communities where people are seen in the fullness of who they are.  

We understand what it is to sing because we have to sing. We understand resurrection because so many of us have experienced it ourselves….

Queer people have a unique perspective on their faith because in order to hold on to it, so many of us have had to walk through our own shadows of death.

Claiming our belovedness as queer people has taught us the power of claiming embodiment as the holy gift it is.

That’s why we have come together to build a new foundation for how we embody church.

Queer people have a unique  perspective on their faith because in order to hold on to it, so many of us have had to walk  through our own shadows of death.Claiming our belovedness as queer people has taught us the power of claiming embodiment as the holy gift it is.

OUR STORY…

When the three of us connected in 2021, it was clear we’d each been on our own journey to bring a  message of hope free from affectation to the church.

Independent of one another, we had been gathering with people envisioning a new worshiping community based in Richmond, Virginia, a city with wounds as old as this nation.

We all felt called to create spaces of abundant welcome focused on healing and reconciliation.  

A year later and we have started a new worshiping community, through the Presbytery of the James.

We’re calling it EveryTable.

EveryTable is a space where everybody can embody worship.

Why Every Table?

• Jesus didn’t have a table…

• Jesus ate at tables where he was welcomed, and almost never were those tables within the walls of the Temple…

• Every table where Jesus is welcomed is his table…

• And every table where he is welcomed also welcomes the disenfranchised masses…

At EveryTable, our mission is to encounter the living abundance of God through embodied reconciliation, with the First and Second Commandments as our guide.

We want to experience the fullness of what it means to be alive, and to live in the abundant community proclaimed at the heart of the Gospel.

We envision a world where every child is born with the structure and support to live into the fullness of who they are created to be. 

We are seeking our healing and the healing of this world, to eradicate ourselves from the disease of white supremacy.

We are drawing together with the trust that the Spirit is moving between and among us, weaving us together as she draws us into herself.

We have an ambitious vision, we know. We’re not naive about the resources it will take to build a new foundation for the church. One that is equitable, that prioritizes the bodies of people participating and cultivates regular spaces for embodied worship as well as healing programs.

The War on Drugs: A Tool of White Supremacy in Systemic Oppression of Black Communities

The war on drugs in the United States, ostensibly aimed at combating drug abuse, has been a pervasive force in the systemic institutionalization of Black individuals. This essay explores the roots of the war on drugs, its connection to the incarceration rates of Black Americans, the resurgence of forms of slave labor through its policies, and the subsequent exacerbation of the economic wealth gap within Black communities.

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The genesis of the war on drugs can be traced back to President Richard Nixon, who employed it as a strategic tool against two perceived enemies: the antiwar left and Black Americans. John Ehrlichman, a key figure in Nixon's administration, admitted that the administration sought to associate marijuana with the antiwar left and heroin with the Black community. By criminalizing both substances heavily, the government aimed to disrupt these communities, leading to the arrest of leaders, raids on homes, and the vilification of these groups in the media. This deliberate manipulation perpetuated the systemic institutionalization of Black individuals within the criminal justice system.

The consequences of Nixon's strategy are evident in the staggering incarceration rates among Black Americans. Despite constituting only 13% of the population, Black individuals account for almost 40% of the incarcerated population. This stark disproportionality reflects the systemic targeting and unjust imprisonment of Black citizens, perpetuating cycles of poverty, broken families, and limited opportunities.

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The 13th Amendment, while abolishing slavery, included a clause that allowed for involuntary servitude as a punishment for a crime. This legal loophole provided the framework for the resurrection of slave labor within the prison system. As a result, incarcerated individuals, disproportionately Black, found themselves working for nominal wages or, in some cases, for free.

The labor extracted from incarcerated individuals has become the backbone of capitalism, as corporations benefit from cheap and exploitative prison labor. This modern-day form of indentured servitude not only perpetuates the historical exploitation of Black labor but also contributes to the widening economic disparities within the Black community.

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The war on drugs has played a pivotal role in deepening the economic wealth gap for Black Americans. The disproportionate incarceration rates and the exploitation of prison labor contribute to a cycle of economic disenfranchisement. Limited access to education, employment, and housing opportunities further exacerbates the struggles faced by Black individuals released from prison, hindering their ability to break free from the cycle of poverty.

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In conclusion, the war on drugs in the United States has been a powerful tool of white supremacy, leading to the systemic institutionalization of Black individuals, the resurgence of forms of slave labor, and the exacerbation of the economic wealth gap within Black communities. Recognizing the roots of this issue is crucial in dismantling systemic oppression and working towards a more just and equitable society.

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Citations

Krystina Murray. “The War On Drug’s Ongoing Impact on Black People https://www.addictioncenter.com/news/2021/08/war-on-drugs-impact-on-black-people/ August 11, 2021

Leah Wang. “Updated data and charts: Incarceration stats by race, ethnicity, and gander for all 50 states and D.C.” https://www.prisonpolicy.org/blog/2023/09/27/updated_race_data/ September 27, 2023

Interrupting Criminalization. “Don’t Be a Copagandist! Drug War Edition” https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5ee39ec764dbd7179cf1243c/t/647f92ad3ece661162afc378/1686082224750/Don%27t+Be+A+Copangandist+-+Drug+War+Edition_ENG.pdf

Alex S. Vitale. “The End of Policing” October 10, 2017